Mel: Ok – Tati says that I have been punished enough...for now. After hours of digital organization & email cleaning, and litterbox sifting, and client whipping, I have gone bananas. Therefore this post is a list of 15 non-sexual banana related things you can do.
Tati: NON- sexual???? Oh man! I’ll pervert all your choices, just because I can!
Mel: Eat them Raw
I suggest peeling them first however.
Tati: THAT is the most sexual picture of all times! It’s so sexual it’s getting me horny. Look at this boy’s face, he is lo-lo-loving it!
Mel: Peel Bananas
For those that cannot get their monkey paws on real live bananas, never fear the electronic banana peeler is here!
Tati: Does it vibrate? ‘Cause it looks like it should!
Mel: Cook with Bananas
There are a variety of widely accepted “Common” recipes that use bananas as a main ingredient. One of my favorites is Banana Walnut bread, and one should never forget the King’s famous Fried Peanut butter and Banana Sandwich.
Tati: You see Mel, “Absolutely no exceptions”
Tati: Banana beer reminds me of banana "cachaça". For those who are not hot Brazilians, I’m sorry for you guys, but my point is: "cachaça" is like tequila, but it’s made out of sugar cane and makes you barf faster. There are many types of "cachaça" and the only one that didn’t make me puke was the one made out of banana.
Mel: Do not forget to include necessary Banana Cooking Utensils such as the Banana Pepper Shaker
Tati: CUTE! TOO DAMN CUTE!Mel: Banana Slicer
Tati: WOW that’s awesome! I have the apple/any rounded shape fruit slicer, but this one is just brilliant. I’m so buying it. (YES I’m lazy)Mel: Banana Holder
Tati: Why would anyone need something like that? Oh! Ohhhhh, wait a minute. Of course! People need those because they don’t have one of these:
HA!
Mel: You can dress like a Banana:
Tati: Yes sure. As if you could go out dressed as a banana and not get some action! Bananas are hot! Every girl has a banana fetish, if you know what I mean!
Mel: Or you can wear the Bananas – while the traditional method of banana wear is typically on the head ala Carmen Miranda fruit salad hat, this should not limit the creative person who finds that it is not enough to simply dress like a banana but they must instead actually use the bananas themselves as clothing.
Tati: C’mon! Typically on the head??? Really??? I am not going to post a pic of where the Banana “typically” goes, because this is a respectable blog, but I am sure all our “sick-as-fuck” readers already have that pic engraved on their “sick-as-fuck” minds.
Mel: Aheeem! As I was saying…
Tati: OH-MY-GOD! I just peed myself! Mel I’m so proud of you! I’m speechless. All I can say is: crazy banana, crazy banana, crazy banana, crazy banana, crazy banana, crazy banana, I love you so much!
Mel: Cure Warts with a Banana – well actually the peel but you can cure warts by rubbing the inside of a banana peel on them every night. Should work in 3-14 days depending on the severity of the wart. Supposedly it works because there is a lot of potassium in the peel.
Tati: you know where else you can rub a banana peel?
Damn you guys, you are so filthy. What did you expect?
Mel: You can draw on them:
Tati: Or “eat” them
YUM!
Mel: You can smell like one: Banana Essence can be purchased online. Here, a variety of studies that’s being conducted about the smell of sex/love/attraction and at least a few of them mention bananas. There of course is also mention of attracting bees and the fact mosquitoes like you more after you’ve eaten bananas, but just consider those cross species gift with purchase.
You can also smoke them – The government swears that smoking banana peels is only a placebo effect, but then again maybe that’s just what they WANT us to think. Right?
Tati: Hahaha you chickened out on posting the link? Fear no more little ones! I’ll do it: Here it is. Just a warning: If you are stupid enough to do it, don’t come crying to us telling we made you do it, because WE DIDN’T!
So if you do it, make sure you die of it, because you won’t enjoy my bad side when you are high on bananas.
Mel: Banana Jokes!
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana Who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana Who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana Who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana Who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana Who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana Who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana Who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana Who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana Who?
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange Who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
Tati: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!! OCD banana joke!!! I can’t say “I love you Mel” enough times…
Mel: Banana home decor:
Watch Banana Movies:
"Bananas". I’m not a huge fan of Woody Allen, although I tend to like his earlier movies more than later ones.
I can appreciate them for what they are but I end up getting pissed that he is the stuttering, bumbling, idiot that ends up with the hot chick. And it reminds me too much that it’s like his life and the deal with his ex-wife and…ggrrrr….gross.
Tati: First of all: Woody Allen SUCKS!!! Wait, there’s nothing else. That’s it. Please carry on…
Mel: I prefer watching this:
I seriously want one and a holster. I plan to put in an order in the near future. All interested parties should let me know, and we can have a giant Banana phone party when the box arrives. Maybe I’ll order two.
Tati: You can order one banana phone and one “hide the banana”. That will be a party Foh sure!
+ free furry cuffs!
Mel:
You can sleep ON or WITH one:
Sing Songs about Bananas:
This video was more entertaining than the Madonna concert ones. So…I’m going bananas. It’s official now.
PS – Tati can we time share Travis? I’ll trade you Elvis for awhile who just chews on my toes and demands to use me as a mattress; you can poke him while I chew on Travis.
Tati: WAS THAT SO HARD???? All you needed to do was ask! You silly girl. Yes, we can share Travis. Elvis is easier to manage anyway and I miss squishing that fat excuse for a cat!
I will end this post with a picture that I found under “banana sex” on Google images (I’m not even kidding)
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