Mel: So it’s about time for a food in focus post, and I’m sure many of you have noticed the current obsession with Bacon. In honor of this fine food that inspires love poems and shudders of revulsion I have searched the net for recipes and objects of Bacon inspired love.
Tati: Ahhhh bacon, the finest representation of a slice of belly you will ever meet.
Mel: First of all, you can’t start the day without the sizzling smell of bacon – it like the smell of freshly brewed coffee is legendary in TV and movies for inspiring sleepy eyed, hair tussled people to slip out of bed with smiles on their faces to find someone who loves you preparing fried fat for your enjoyment. For you:
And your I heart bacon panties
Tati: Ahhhh bacon, the finest representation of a slice of belly you will ever meet.
Mel: First of all, you can’t start the day without the sizzling smell of bacon – it like the smell of freshly brewed coffee is legendary in TV and movies for inspiring sleepy eyed, hair tussled people to slip out of bed with smiles on their faces to find someone who loves you preparing fried fat for your enjoyment. For you:
After waking up and having Bacon for breakfast, don’t forget to brush your teeth and floss with some Bacon Dental floss and of course you can’t forget to meditate and read your Holy Book of Bacon and follow the practices of the Church of Bacon which divides us all into consumers and the flavorless.
Tati: Does anybody else think that bacon oral hygiene is disgusting?
Mel: Check your subscription to the Bacon of the Month Club and if you are having trouble storing Bacon you can also try Canned Bacon
Get your Bacon Briefcase
grab your bacon wrapped cellphone
and head to work.
grab your bacon wrapped cellphone
and head to work.
Tati: If you are a girl, don’t forget your bacon bra
And your I heart bacon panties
If you are driving to work, you can have a Bacon scented thingy on your rear view mirror
Mel: After work to celebrate Bacon have a Themed Cocktail Party (Formal of course). For the non-drinkers provide Bacon water (while originally intended for dogs/cats it is completely safe for humans and no one ever needs to find out). For cocktails you can serve the Bacon Martini Although with the Bacon infused Vodka and Candied Bacon Garnishes, you should not consider yourself limited to only Bacon Martinis. Supposedly Bacon Whiskey and Bacon Beer are also available but you might have to import them. Live a little, mix it up and go wild.
Tati: Sorry, I just puked a little, carry on…
Mel: If you are a guy don’t forget your Bacon Tux
Mel: If you are a guy don’t forget your Bacon Tux
and Ladies what could be classier with your bacon dresses than a Bacon Tiara and matching Bacon Scarf?
Unless you prefer to go all out and dress up as bacon in your very own Bacon Costume
Unless you prefer to go all out and dress up as bacon in your very own Bacon Costume
Tati: MmmmKay…
Mel: You can treat your guests to some Bacon pr0n, Bacon bubbles and provide your guests with their very own Patron Saint of Bacon.
Mel: You can treat your guests to some Bacon pr0n, Bacon bubbles and provide your guests with their very own Patron Saint of Bacon.
Also good for parties are Stuffed Shaky Bacon Toys – cartoons also make good wall hangings.
Don’t forget to make sure all the light bulbs are working in your Bacon lamp!
Tati: Just in case you don’t know enough Bacon lovers, you can call these people here who really REALLY love bacon.
Mel: For your party guests who are watching their calories you can offer them Bacon Spray
Tati: Now THIS is a great use of human brain! I can spray on my food and don’t have to fry bacon or clean anything afterward!
Also for your vegetarian friends you can serve Vegetarian Bacon, but again they will probably be avoiding the party unless you can convince them that eating bacon does not make you any more of a carnivore “than a straight woman who occasionally makes out with other girls is a lesbian.” Like this girl here
Tati: You know what? NO! If you are a vegetarian and you don’t eat bacon, you won’t get vegetarian meat at my party. If you feel the need to savor some meat then quit being a vegetarian. I understand your good intentions vegetarians of the world. But I HATE the vegetarians that still eat fake meat. Know that you are going to hell with all of us real meat eaters. At least we are keeping it real! I remember a website that Mel showed me a while ago. It goes perfectly here. Check out Bacolicious.
Mel: Make sure you have some Bacon Bandages on hand in case anyone hurts themselves, what with all the bacon alcohol and bacon grease someone is sure to hurt themselves at some point.
And for those who just can’t get enough Bacon, here are some Bacon blogs for your constant consumption:
Its all about the Bacon
Mrbaconpants
Bacon Unwrapped
I heart Bacon
Bacontarian
Bacon Product of the Week
Lords of Bacon
Bacon Freak
Also… Food tasting Robot that identifies Human Flesh as bacon - Something to think about.
Tati: We are doomed!
Don’t forget to make sure all the light bulbs are working in your Bacon lamp!
Tati: Just in case you don’t know enough Bacon lovers, you can call these people here who really REALLY love bacon.
Mel: Dinner recipes would just be too easy, so I won’t give you any however you can check out: The Bacon Show – a new bacon recipe every day with close to 1400 recipes already logged, its fun to see what else can be created – the site claims for “forever” but is it really? Or if you prefer printed cook books check out Everything Tastes Better with Bacon or Seduced by Bacon. (Don’t forget to serve Bacon After dinner mints or Bacon beans or even same Maple-Bacon).
For dessert you can Serve Chocolate Covered Bacon
Maple Bacon Lolipops
And Bacon Ice Cream
Maple Bacon Lolipops
And Bacon Ice Cream
Tati: hahahahaha what’s wrong with people?
Mel: For your party guests who are watching their calories you can offer them Bacon Spray
Tati: Now THIS is a great use of human brain! I can spray on my food and don’t have to fry bacon or clean anything afterward!
Also for your vegetarian friends you can serve Vegetarian Bacon, but again they will probably be avoiding the party unless you can convince them that eating bacon does not make you any more of a carnivore “than a straight woman who occasionally makes out with other girls is a lesbian.” Like this girl here
Tati: You know what? NO! If you are a vegetarian and you don’t eat bacon, you won’t get vegetarian meat at my party. If you feel the need to savor some meat then quit being a vegetarian. I understand your good intentions vegetarians of the world. But I HATE the vegetarians that still eat fake meat. Know that you are going to hell with all of us real meat eaters. At least we are keeping it real! I remember a website that Mel showed me a while ago. It goes perfectly here. Check out Bacolicious.
Mel: Make sure you have some Bacon Bandages on hand in case anyone hurts themselves, what with all the bacon alcohol and bacon grease someone is sure to hurt themselves at some point.
And for those who just can’t get enough Bacon, here are some Bacon blogs for your constant consumption:
Its all about the Bacon
Mrbaconpants
Bacon Unwrapped
I heart Bacon
Bacontarian
Bacon Product of the Week
Lords of Bacon
Bacon Freak
Also… Food tasting Robot that identifies Human Flesh as bacon - Something to think about.
Tati: We are doomed!
Mel: You can move to Bacon city for ultimate bacon experience.
Tati: You forgot the BEST bacon. The king of all Bacons!
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