Friday, May 1, 2009

Truly Outrageous week!

OH MAN!

Tati: What a crazy week we had. Testing all this toys was hard work. Not to mention expensive. But we finally reached a verdict. Guess who had more fun in the end? What? No silly, just keep reading...

Mel: So after a week of tests – some with outside assistance for proper testing, pictures, videos and more. Here are the official results to support whether Blondes or Brunettes really have more fun.

The Pleasure Periscope

Tati: This one is better than a regular mixer. It’s a keeper!

This truly brings pleasure to your daily cooking. You can mix stuff AND look inside the mix at the same time...I almost turned my cookie dough ice cream into water because I got too distracted looking inside of it.


But I didn’t stop there.

I also made awesome pasta sauce and then some whipped cream that I later used on my boyfriend.


OK, he is not my boyfriend, but I used it on him anyway.


Tati level of fun: 3 ½
Fake boyfriend level of fun: All the way baby


Mel: Instructions indicate use for personal health and safety. I now carry it in my purse and have my own personal ray gun!

I love it! So far I’ve gotten free gas & spare change from the register, a new necklace & a wallet just for showing people how fantastic this little number is.




if you click on the image it will go HUGE


Similar models have already been proven just as effective.



Mel level of Fun: 5
Mel level of Coolness: Too hot to Handle


Carrot Sleeve

Mel: This does not protect against carrot odor as promised. I still had bunnies following me home from the park.

Rabid Rabbits still detected the carrot in my purse and I had to throw it far into the playground to keep them from attacking me – I’ll stick to Ziploc & Cucumbers.




Mel level of Fun: 3 (they were CUTE rabid rabbits)
Mel level of Damage: Moderate - Twisted ankle, Grass Stains, bites & scratches, rabies shot & empty stomach
.

Creepy Dildos

Mel: This nativity set requires is not as colorful as other sets but it is waterproof - a big plus for outdoor displays.


Mel level of Fun: 4
Speed with which I am going to hell: Warp 7


Tati: I know I am not supposed to interrupt but, this IS kinda colourful...

Strawberry Ass

Tati: This one was really good for strawberry scented tequila shots, but not as good as coin holders. It kept closing and opening, so my coins would jump out, making a simple walk through the park REALLY annoying. I had the hardest time getting my coins back from the squirrels.



Tati level of fun: 5 for the tequila party
3 for chasing squirrels to get my coins back

Mr. Jack with Mustache

Mel: This made an excellent pot handle holder for my inox pans- kept my fingers safe from singes while I made fried donuts. Every household should have a few!



Mel level of fun: 3
Level of Burn Protection: Survived the burning towel (only melted off the stache.
)

Tati: I am now a proud owner of a gay Mexican key holder!



Tati level of fun: 2 for making it
5 for looking at it with my keys on his mouth every morning.


The Cone

Tati: Awesome cat-owner fun!

Turn your cone upside down, set it to spin and sit Elvis on top of it, then watch! You may like to wear gloves next time you try to play with your cat, but it’s totally worth it!



Tati level of fun: 5
Elvis level of fun: - (minus) 1 billion


Accommodator

Mel: So Elvis’s punching bag will only arrive in a few weeks & like all things in advertising the picture is not to scale. The accommodator was of average size so I let him try this out instead.

Supposed to provide nirvana like enlightenment through meditation & stimulation of the 3rd Eye - this stayed on his head an average of 0.5 seconds.



Mel level of fun: 5
Elvis level of fun: Someone is dying in their sleep tonight


Tuyo

Tati: This thing is DA BOMB! We first tried this out at the Strawberry Tequila Party. I ordered two: the black and blacker and the white and pink.

That made possible for us to divide in two teams: boys and girls. We turned them on and let them loose around the house. First one to knock somebody down scores!



When you are high on strawberry tequila, it doesn’t take much. I can’t tell you who won, I saw a lot of people going down (I also saw a lot of people from the floor level)

Tati level of fun: 5
Tati level of bruises: over 9000


Tongue Vibe

Tati: This is another great item for parties. I got a bunch of them. Why? Check this out:

-They glow in the dark
-They shake shake shake
-They are water proof


MARTINI SHAKERS!


Tati level of fun: 5
Tati level of alcohol in blood stream: 96%


Mel: Application to the end of a standard toothbrush increases brushing power. 4 out of 5 dentists recommend it. Application to the end of whisk increases in beating power. 4 out of 5 cooks recommend it.



Application to Elvis’s tail increases freak out power. 4 out of 5 cats do NOT recommend it.



Mel level of Fun: 4
Tongue Vibe level of Usability: 5


Paul and Paulina

Tati: Ok, there is only one thing to do with Paul and Paulina:


Now they can grow bigger and stronger and ZAZ!


Tati level of fun: 4
Tati’s place level of cuteness: 1 trillion!


Willie Wrapper

Mel: Instalment required only a standard suction cup and some ribbon. It works well in the kitchen for dishtowels but wet hand towels, are too heavy for the vibrate function to properly move around enough to speed up drying.


Please remember to keep both mesmerized cats and moving towels away from open flames – real firemen wear more clothes than the ones in the calendars.


Mel level of Fun: 5 (they were still sexy)
Number of Firemen in Mel’s Kitchen: 7 (they stayed for Brownies)



Head Candy

Mel: These make excellent alternatives to salt rimmed cocktail glasses & add a new dimension to mixed drinks – similar to using a lollipop instead of an olive in your martini.

I tried them with Frozen Margaritas, Manhattans & Champagne Cocktails – by the end of the night Head Candy rimmed glasses filled with Sake were the best.




Mel level of fun: 5 (What I remember anyway)



Who won? Who cares? We had a blast! (And so did our little feline friends)



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