Before my (always) insightful post, I have two things to tell you.
#1: I moved the Wednesday movie nights to Saturday. Makes more sense in my head so now you have to check the blog on Saturdays too HA!
#2: Mel went missing again, she sent this pic and I am supposed to find out where she is otherwise she won’t come back.
OH WELL I’ll think about this later.
I’ve decided to find out what’s all this thing that everybody keeps talking about House M.D. – Yes I’m almost 5 years late, who cares? I have my own reality, just leave me be – I am watching all 5 seasons, all day long nonstop.
I made it through season 1 already!!
And of course watching House 24/7 increased my cranky levels to over 9000 and that got me in a good mood to make a post full of love on this lovely Friday the 13th!
My target today is the people who never used a mirror. I chose their queen to be our topic today . TA DAAAAA:
For those who couldn’t recognize her – for reasons I will detail later – it’s Pamela Anderson!
OK OK, I’ll give you more eye candy before I go on and trash the hell out of her.
Since the Photoshop guy forgot to put back her belly button, I've put it back there. Just so you guys won’t tell me I’m evil and stuff.
I think it’s enough already right? It’s a Friday the 13th post not a charity one.
She has always been lame, but at least she was smoking hot. HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT!
After her 30-somethings, somebody stole all her mirrors and now she is lame and freaky. I’m sure that if somebody sent her a mirror and she took a look at it once and a while, we would never have to deal with things like that:
I’m not even talking about this hideous dress, because Viviane Westwood is another idiot who still thinks her stuff is shocking. Well they are in a way.
There are two possible reasons why someone would go on a Fashion Show looking like that: She is getting VERY well paid or she doesn’t have a mirror. I am positive it’s the mirror thing because there is not enough money in the world to make me go out dressed like this:
Well, unless I was a homeless person addicted to crack and didn’t have a mirror. That’s how Pamela Anderson "post 40s" goes to an event on an art gallery. And that’s how she behaves once she is inside:
Ok, you got me! Class was never on the menu for lil' Pammy. But one would think that after 40 years, a woman would learn a few things in life. I don’t know. Maybe I’m being too hard on poor Pamela. Let’s continue the freak show since I don’t have much more to say about this...
I wonder what does she think this will accomplish? Like does she think it’s sexy? If you do find this sexy my friend, you might need to go see Dr. House. Either that or you are one twisted fuck.
I also think it is very entertaining to see the losers she dates.
I don’t know who the hell this is but I don’t care either. Just the fact that she is sitting on the lab of a guy with "LOVE" painted on his jeans and hugging this errrr... other guy, it is enough for me to be entertained.
I LOVE Kid Rock, but I wouldn’t call him a winner exactly...
100 bucks Criss Angel is the next Victim. He fits perfectly. They might even get married!
She could date him too. But I think she is too old for him already. I’ll just put more embarrassing pics of her here, I don’t really care about her guys, they are not as funny.
Friday the 13th Pamela
Do I need to comment?
I don’t know you guys, that is so disturbing to me, I mean, she used to be so hot! Stealing mirrors should be a crime punishable by death penalty. Or Maybe that’s not it at all, maybe it’s Lupus!
Mel: I recently changed my cellphone ringtone (with some help) to the theme song from Piki and Poko. I’m sure its one of the Mondo mini shows that NO ONE remembers, people just remember Happy Tree Friends. I was missing Tati the other day and bought a Music Monkey with Cymbals that make noise when you push a button.
It’s cute and cheeky as every good monkey should be (doesn’t throw poop or smell its finger.)
Mel: Why do people make wine by stomping on the grapes? I’ve always wondered…I mean is all the wine I drink personally stepped on first?
Tati: probably. But most modern wineries have machines to do that now...
Mel: Machines with lady leg attachments that mechanically crush the grapes?
Tati:Yes! And from time to time the lady falls and the other robot legs make fun of her.
Mel: What I want to know is if the other girl went out there and fell on purpose too, or if she was just trying to get in good with Carmen because its easy to see why one would want to.
Tati: hahaha I think it was an accident but that's why its good. Man I love Carmen Electra she is so hot, she can get away with this crap. That's what I associate with her:
Mel: What is up with Carmen and weird men? She also married Dennis Rodman – and seriously I have a lot of respect for Prince since I know he is extremely musically talented even if what he releases is what sells. But seriously, reading through the Wikipedia on his life, and knowing the off stories about him that pop up here and there, and his Napoleon complex and his plastic surgery – I don’t know man, it freaks me out. That and he’s a Jehovah’s Witness.
Tati: All Geniuses are freaks...Prince is way more that I can take though, but more power to him.
Mel: I Love Kevin Smith. He’s great. I want to read his book (which will require me buying it first) and seriously that whole An Evening with Kevin Smith is gold. There is no point in posting them all but he’s worth it…so one more:
Tati: He was here in Toronto for another one of those but I missed, being broke and all...I'll buy the DVD whenever it comes out. Tim Burton was one of my favorite directors until he forgot to stop doing the same movie over and over again, now I hate him. Tim Burton reminds me o Marilyn Mason for some reason.
He is very intelligent but not so intelligent when he wants dumb people to understand his cause and all. But I still like him.
Mel: He still freaks me out because I feel like he is trying to hard to be sensationalist sometimes, but then again maybe I’m not his target. Although the information about his marriage to Dita Von Teese is great (quoted from Wikipedia) “He had been a long time fan of Dita Von Teese, and was a member of her website…The wedding was officiated by surrealist film director and comic book writer…The bride wore a royal purple silk taffeta gown…a tri-corned hat…and a matching Mr. Pearl corset.” and about their later divorce“ "I get the impression he thinks I was unsupportive, but the truth is I wasn't supportive of his lifestyle, and someone else came along who was."Manson's alcohol abuse and distant behavior were also cited as cause for the split. He is reportedly fighting for custody of the couple's three cats” (He looks like Edward Scissor Hands in this Pic).
Tati: Yes, he won apparently and he is dating the girl from 13 (the movie), who is now 19! NIIIICE! Talking about freaky couples, this reminds me of them:
I love both of them but he is like 100 and she is less than 30. Their babies will be born with tattoos already...
Mel: Yeah, but she is like the female version of him. Maybe they’re too similar for it to ever work out, but they are both awesome, freaky and not for everyone, but definitely awesome. My thing with their tattoos is that there are so many they look like a magazine collage, but her stars are cool. But there are a lot of tattoos that are NOT cool – for example: Horrible Tattoos and Awful Tattoos.
Tati: I think it works for them. I think they are a nice couple. But nobody will ever beat Mr. Cool Ice for the worst tattoo ever.
Mel: Why would he…what was he…omg. Just – my brain is frying. How does one pick up “chicks” with a tattoo like that?! What girl would find that attractive or charming? I mean sure he can grow his hair out, and wear a long sleeved shirt…but you’ll always know its there, deep down underneath just waiting to be cool as ice.
Tati:There are always girls who will date Mr. Cool Ice guys. Girls date Kfed!!! If I had to choose I would go out with Mr. Cool Ice instead of Kfed any day.
Mel: You have a point. I too would choose the Ice over Popozão...
and you’re right the world is full of people that leave the rest of us going “what were they thinking?
Tati: Gatinha sai do chao vai descendo o popozao! FUCKING LOSER!
Tati: HAHAHAHAHA those are so aggressive!!!!! but whenever you need to understand stupid human behavior, you can always count on science to help you!
Mel: Brainiac has lots of enlightening science, and I like how I can say I'm researching something scientific while laughing my ass off. I also like the fact that scientifically speaking women have breasts in order to simulate a butt on their chests as we now walk upright and don’t flash our butts in their faces anymore. Here’s a test to see if YOU can: Crack or Cleavage?
Tati: I'm a mere mortal. Scored 4. Damn that was tough. Butt crack reminds me of cracked and cracked reminded me of the Nicholas Cage gameNicholas Cage gameI agree 100% with that by the way.
Mel: HAHAHAHAHA I’d never considered or thought of that really - Although Adaptation was supreme trolling and great. We all know lolcats and cheeseburgers and failure, however I am often surprised how often the photo captions on the Pundits Kitchen crack me up. While not as good they are often much better than you would expect. Some of my favorites include:
and the related:
Tati: Damn Mel, how many times do I have to tell you that hippies eat babies? But I guess the 60's got everyone right? Even Jesus…
nothing worst than a musical, only a musical filled with hippies.
Mel: it could be filled with nude hippies.
Tati: OH GOD NO!!!!! HAIRRY EW EW EW it is not the same guy but it's his cloneTed McGinleythis is theDirty Hippiein Hair.
Mel: Really!? The Dr. from Everwood is the dirty hippie in Hair?! Really!? (and how does someone who isn’t a Stripper get named “Treat” oooh he’s such a Treat!). This is nearly as mind boggling to me as finding out that Mitzi from Priscilla Queen of the Desert is Mr. Smith
(the elf in LotR was not so surprising after Priscilla).
Tati: Well since you want to take this road, I'll give you morevisual trauma. Here is dirty dancing guy,Blade and John Leguizamo – well we expect that from him...
Mel: I watched that movie. On TV. But I watched it. I remember the interviews on Oprah about the Gender Benders and…yeah why hasn’t my head blocked that traumatic memory yet? John Leguizamo has had one messed up movie career. Seriously, looking over that list is like a suggestion list for Wednesdays – movies that think they are seriously but are actually ridiculous. Speaking of Wednesday movies, I have a suggestion for you: Blood Monkey!
And there you have it a conversation that begins and ends with Monkeys.
